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emo Comedy Corner

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5 years 3 months ago #726

Here is a joke i found quite funny B) :)

Start at the top or you will spoil the joke.

Senior Citizen and the Store



A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food.
She picked up three cans and took them to the check out counter.


The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot
sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot
of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management
wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."

The little old lady went home,
picked up her cat and brought it back to the store.

They sold her the cat food.

The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food.


Again, the cashier said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot
sell you dog food without proof that you have a dog.
A lot of old people buy dog food to eat, but the
management wants proof that you are buying
the dog food for your dog."

So she went home and brought in her dog.


She then was able to buy the dog food.

The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid.


The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her
finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you
might have a snake in there."


The little old lady assured her that there was
nothing in the box that would harm her.


So the cashier put her finger into the box
and quickly pulled it out.


She said to the little old lady, "That smells like sh!t."


The little old lady said,
"It is. I want to buy a roll of toilet paper."


Don't mess with old people !


Human civilization is a fragile entity existing always at the mercy of frightening cosmic forces

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5 years 3 months ago #727

Another funny story i found :silly: :)

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.

By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI COM TRU!


Human civilization is a fragile entity existing always at the mercy of frightening cosmic forces

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5 years 3 months ago #728

And this is hilarious..lolz B)


Human civilization is a fragile entity existing always at the mercy of frightening cosmic forces

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5 years 3 months ago #746

excellent on all three :)


If ever you think your being watched, or there's something under the bed, don't just look once to check, look again carefully, just because you cant see them, doesn't mean there not there. in the vastness of existence and reality everything is possible, every fear is there, if its not under your bed now it will be soon. sleep tight.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Dino

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5 years 3 months ago #750

Human civilization is a fragile entity existing always at the mercy of frightening cosmic forces
Last Edit: 5 years 3 months ago by Dino.

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